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A woman’s perspective on not being “enough” and how it affects our health.

几周前,我前往妇女圈的信息会议,将作为今年自然和平工作室的妇女作为封闭式支持圈。要给你一个小背景,我几年前推出了这个圆圈,对社区中的女性愿景有一个安全的空间来谈论她生命中可能变得休眠的主题,开辟心灵和分享故事,没有判断的观点和经验;举办妇女的空间,听到并尊重他们是谁。我和我的一位朋友一起跑到了心理学的背景,这次是几年的背景,这次我经过了一对美丽的女性,这是对视觉的热情和抱着这种空间的美丽女性。特雷西加德纳是一个人生导师and helps people prosper in life with tools for a positive perspective and Clare MacDonald who is aMyotherapisthelping people on the physical level, she is also so well in tune with the emotional side. Together they make the perfect leading team for2015’s Women’s Circle


特蕾西和克莱尔包装后circle, with their “overloaded handbags”

这导致灯泡时刻,请和我在一起。圈子介绍介绍的主题之一真的让我击中了我。克莱尔谈到了“超负荷的手提包”,隐喻地和字面意义上讲。她勇敢地将手提包带入圈子并暴露它所含的内容。清空内容后,包括:Journal,Phone,钱包,化妆,纸巾,笔,袜子,伞,水瓶,另一个携带包,以防万一,我变得非常清楚我的轻微倾斜,现在是我自然的一部分姿势。她的包和内容增加了3千克!另一个女人肯定可以联系,有些人紧张地笑着反映了它们,有些因其同样的原因而休息。是的,在结构上,在我们的身体上是一种如此紧张的,隐喻是 - 我们把自己置于准备每一天意外的负担。

这个话题真的和我在一起,并通过我的患者在接下来的几周内甚至与我的团队成员一起进行的对话。我们都可以与隐喻有关,并且在不够的情况下。We even discussed the fact that, even if we didn’t have a hand bag to put all that stuff into, we still carry with us the expectations of covering up our imperfections, being noticed on social media, even subconsciously creating situations when all else fails to ensure we are seen as being a “good partner”, “good daughter”, “good mum”, “good friend”. We try so hard. This makes me think of why. Why do we try so hard to be the “Overloaded Handbag”? Is it because we really believe we are not good enough? Is it because we don’t value who we are without trying so damn hard? Maybe it’s because along the way, we lost touch with our identity and now we look for the love from external sources?

This brings me to another instance a few years back when my business coach asked me to fill in the weekly schedule with all my activities, work and personal included to see where I was at. Upon doing so, in front of me was the perfect example of the “Overloaded Handbag”, so heavy I couldn’t even pick it up. In actual fact, at that time I had a suitcase on wheels where I put at list 5 books, my computer, chargers, my handbag and sometimes my work equipment that I could fit in it. My husband called it – “the truck”. Let me tell you I got a bit of attention from people who were curious where I was going. “The truck” was my way of getting a little love from people because I was giving so much of me, “me time” was just not on the horizon, in any shape or form.

I have one last bit of wisdom to share. How does such behaviour alter our health? Apart from the obvious of neglecting ourselves, overloading our body and un-resourcefully seeking attention? I have to bring it back to Chinese medicine here, where our emotions always link in with our internal health. Especially when they get stuck and unable to move overtime. You see in the case of “Overloaded Handbag”, the emotions change, slowly. And this is my perspective that you may or may not relate to. It starts with, “something” is missing scenario (that “something” is self-care and self-love by the way). Followed by worry: “maybe I’m not being good enough to be my best”, due to lack of acknowledgement from people around (this is an example of overthinking which puts the Spleen under a bit of pressure where digestion slows and energy levels decline). When nothing changes there is a bit of sadness: “I’m doing it all alone, it’s so hard” (Lungs relate to sadness, you may see drops in immunity here). Then finally comes the anger! “Everyone is such a jerk, I can’t believe they don’t appreciate anything I do around here!” (this is where your Liver is yelling out for help and you may have migraines, muscle tension and injuries come up, exhaustion levels kick in by this stage, sleep is disrupted and the thoughts are going in loops). In Chinese medicine, when emotions don’t have an outlet and get stuck we can develop other health ailments that can manifest physically, altering our hormones, chemical make up in the brain, muscles, tissues, blood quality, fluid levels and more. As always Chinese medicine/Acupuncture looks at re-balancing and prevention, hence a great place to start for self-care.Here是一篇关于中药如何帮助压力和焦虑的文章。

What else do we do about all this? Awareness and acknowledgement is first step. You may have a totally different story. No matter what your story is I hope we can agree to be gentler on ourselves, our body, and我们的想法。并接受我们最好的不需要平等为“超级女性”100%的时间。